I think there are three big differences between the Chinese and Western parental mind-sets. Chua argues that happiness comes from mastery, and that mastery is achieved through "tenacious practice, practice, practice.
Chua claims are Chinese, rather than Western, goals. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.
However, I think we need to remember that our primary goal as parents is to raise our children to survive and thrive in the society in which they are going to live. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight.
But most of us would probably benefit from taking a page out of her book: Well, in many ways, we are. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. Permission to Reasons why chinese mothers are superior Ms.
As they grow and get nearer to the age at which they will no longer live with their parents, they need more freedom until, when they enter the adult world, they have the same freedoms as adults and have been taught how to use those freedoms.
We live in a Western society; therefore we need to be focused on raising our children to live in a Western society. Fortunately, his mother and father had not equated his self-worth with being a star soccer player and he is currently a happy, confident teenager who is interested in myriad things.
And when Chinese kids do excel, there is plenty of ego-inflating parental praise lavished in the privacy of the home. Rather than being overly permissive, many American parents -- especially the well-educated, affluent Americans reading excerpts in the WSJ or on Slate.
I felt terrible and deeply ashamed of what I had done. I immediately wondered if I was being too lenient. For example, if a child comes home with an A-minus on a test, a Western parent will most likely praise the child. You have to learn how to set limits effectively, how to respect the traits and qualities your child was born with.
When kids build friendships through play, their social and emotional intelligence flourishes; social skills are a key predictor of success later in life. Chua also recommends motivating kids through coercion and threats -- a recipe not just for unhappiness but also for unethical behavior.
She takes pride in never letting her kids have playdates or sleepovers, so that they have more time for schoolwork and practicing their instruments. On average, Asian parents use more discipline and insist upon hard work more than Western parents.
Why or why not? Chua noted she is often asked how Asian parents raise such successful children. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Fostering the skills that kids need for happiness is a better bet for their long-term success.
I also understand and advocate the desire to raise successful children. They can also be individuals, enjoy their childhoods, pursue their true passions, be academically successful and yes, even be musically proficient!
Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As.
It has resulted in higher grades -- twice as many students graduate with an A average now compared to -- yet another symptom of our overinflated culture of undeserved praise. Children are not the rulers of the household.
The devastated Chinese mother would then get dozens, maybe hundreds of practice tests and work through them with her child for as long as it takes to get the grade up to an A. In raising my own two daughters ages 4 and 1I try to put some of these principles into practice, despite my white American background.
Despite how obvious this flaw in reasoning is, it is ubiquitous. You have to learn techniques that will help your child internalize your values.
And on average, their kids do better.Why ‘Chinese Mothers’ Are Not Superior By Nataliya Nedzhvetskaya January 21, Every day you can read a newspaper article that frets about China’s rise to dominance on the world stage.
Chinese Mothers Controversy: Why Amy Chua Is Wrong About Parenting. Chua argues that "Chinese" mothers "are superior" because they demand absolute perfection and won't refrain from berating. Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior By AMY CHUA Erin Patrice O'Brien The Wall Street Journal January 8, Amy Chua with her daughters, Louisa and Sophia, at That's why Chinese daughters can't have boyfriends in high school and why Chinese kids can't go to sleep away camp.
It's also why no Chinese kid. Why Chinese Mothers Really Are Superior (On Average) It's not stereotyping when it's right.
Reading parenting books no one seems to give any attention to the less than noble reasons of. Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music practice create happy kids?
And what happens when they fight back? A Parenting Expert's Response to "Why Chinese Mothers are Superior" As a well-known parenting expert who has not only raised two successful, happy children of my own, I have also extensively and intensively studied and taught parenting strategies for the past 21 years.Download